And now I’m sitting here not knowing what the hell to do cause apparently with what I need done on my teeth it’s gonna be a $2600 bill.  I got on a payment plan thing so it’ll only cost $150 a month but I don’t know where that $150 will come from.  Because I can’t get a job for whatever reason.  We’re barely hanging on as it is anymore.  I just don’t know what to do.  I keep having this increasing feeling that everything would just be better if I wasn’t here to cause more money problems.  I feel like a giant waste of space and money.  Jobs keep opening up and I keep applying for them and I never hear anything from them.  They’re not even difficult jobs.  Part time cashiers and stock jobs are what I’m applying to and still I hear nothing from them.

I don’t draw or write well enough to do anything with that.

The best I can do is post stuff on eBay and keep doing surveys and stuff for a dollar here or there.

I just don’t know what to do.  D is grabbing any extra hours he can but it’s making him miserable because he can’t sleep lately.  We just switched over phone plans so that my mom pays it and we pay her which was going to save us at least $100 a month but now we need to starting paying $150 for my dentists bill.  And we paid off his student loan a couple months ago which should have opened up $50 a month but that hasn’t helped any.  We’re going to need a new roof within the next year or so.  D’s car is acting up and needs to go in to the shop soon.

There’s just nothing I can do to help and it’s making me miserable.  I never thought that not having a job would be so depressing to me.